CONTINGENCY PROGRAMMING • UNAUTHORIZED STRENGTH GAINS • LAB RESIDENCY
Body by Joe
This is where we go when Jill gets “kicked out” of Chic’s Beach CrossFit for operating BodyByJill.com without a permit for excellence. Joe didn’t ask for this responsibility. Joe also can’t escape it.
9
Refugees currently in hiding
PLAN B
Coach status (officially “interim”)
??
Today’s Exile Probability
Joe (Acting Coach / Refuge Director)
Specialty: calm face, chaotic outcomes. Allegedly “fine with it.”
🧯 “This is fine”
How we got here
It started as a website. It became a movement.
When gym leadership discovered BodyByJill.com, they allegedly considered “banishment” (their word, not ours). So we built a contingency plan: BodyByJoe.com — a safe haven for anyone displaced by excellence, sarcasm, or too many PRs.
- Rule #1: The Lab is still home base. We do not negotiate with burpees.
- Rule #2: If Joe says “one more set,” assume it’s a legally binding contract.
- Rule #3: We are peacefully protesting the Wodify → PushPress migration. Our demands are unclear, but our complaints are consistent.
“We’re just here for fitness.”
—Everyone, immediately followed by something personal
“This is a short one.”
—Joe, said no workout ever
Refugees (aka: the survivors)
Residents: Joe, Bobby, Dani, Stacey, BigMike, Ashley, Chris, Courtney, Mel. (Jill may be operating remotely.)
Evidence photo
Proof of life, sweat, and questionable decisions.
Pictured: the crew moments before someone says, “Ok but can we go heavier?”